I don't know about you, but I always considered drinking tequila to be a bit of a chore. Oh, I mean, it had the desired end result, no problems there, but there were drawbacks. The main one was having to drink something that tasted to me like gasoline. Or, that is, what I imagined gasoline would taste like if I ever got that desperate. Yes, I know, there are hard core guys that will actually drink Sterno. Wow! What a bummer to need a drink that badly and be that poor (or stupid).
But in my younger days (back when the earth was still cooling) I enjoyed getting obliterated now and then. There was one experience when I was about 22 and living up in the woods in Vermont that was particularly memorable. There were 5 of us, 4 guys and one young woman who was married to one of the guys. We were without anything to do on a beautiful summer's day, when someone (not me!) came up with the brilliant suggestion that we purchase a quantity of tequila and keep score to see who could drink the most. To this day, I am amazed that all involved survived. We went shopping and came home with two large bottles of the cheapest tequila we could find. I think it was Cuervo, but my memory is still a bit hazy. We proceeded to the house of the married couple, sat down around a large table, got a pen and notepad and started passing the bottle and a shot glass around, with one person (can't remember who) keeping score.
Why do we do things like this when we are young? You didn't? Hmmmmm, I don't know whether to admire or pity you. But things like this are such bad ideas that it almost seems as if we must try them. And it's not as if this was the last bad idea I ever tried. Oh no, I still had years of bad ideas to go. This was just one in a veritable litany of bad ideas.
Anyway, things got blurry after the first hour or so. I remember the second bottle being opened. The next thing I remember is waking up in the most absolute darkness I had ever experienced. Needless to say, I felt very bad. I lay there for a while wondering why I could not see anything at all. The room we had been drinking in had one wall that was mostly glass, so even if it was the middle of the night, some light from the stars or something would have been visible. I thought that it was possible that I had gone blind, it seemed the only logical explanantion. This, of course, made me feel even worse. I had a very difficult time forming a plan as to what I should do next. Finally I started to move very gingerly, exploring my surroundings. Moving was not pleasant. I immediately ran into objects all around me. It appeared that I had been dumped in a pile of stuff. It took a while to find my way around the room, looking for walls, or anything that felt remotely familiar. Although I did this on my hands and knees, I stumbled and crashed over numerous objects before finding a wall, and eventually a door.
Upon opening the door, I was amazed. I was on the second floor of my friend's house. The reason that this was remarkable, is that the only way here was up a s spiral staircase with no railing. It was difficult to negotiate this staircase when absolutely sober. It was certain that no one carried me up here. I spent quite a while sitting outside the room marvelling at where I was, while down below, I could see the one lone survivor of our drinking contest, still seated at the table. Our friend from down the road was still there and conscious. Everyone else was gone.