Welcome to Dullsville

Tequila

I don't know about you, but I always considered drinking tequila to be a bit of a chore. Oh, I mean, it had the desired end result, no problems there, but there were drawbacks. The main one was having to drink something that tasted to me like gasoline. Or, that is, what I imagined gasoline would taste like if I ever got that desperate. Yes, I know, there are hard core guys that will actually drink Sterno. Wow! What a bummer to need a drink that badly and be that poor (or stupid).

But in my younger days (back when the earth was still cooling) I enjoyed getting obliterated now and then. There was one experience when I was about 22 and living up in the woods in Vermont that was particularly memorable. There were 5 of us, 4 guys and one young woman who was married to one of the guys. We were without anything to do on a beautiful summer's day, when someone (not me!) came up with the brilliant suggestion that we purchase a quantity of tequila and keep score to see who could drink the most. To this day, I am amazed that all involved survived. We went shopping and came home with two large bottles of the cheapest tequila we could find. I think it was Cuervo, but my memory is still a bit hazy. We proceeded to the house of the married couple, sat down around a large table, got a pen and notepad and started passing the bottle and a shot glass around, with one person (can't remember who) keeping score.

Why do we do things like this when we are young? You didn't? Hmmmmm, I don't know whether to admire or pity you. But things like this are such bad ideas that it almost seems as if we must try them. And it's not as if this was the last bad idea I ever tried. Oh no, I still had years of bad ideas to go. This was just one in a veritable litany of bad ideas.

Anyway, things got blurry after the first hour or so. I remember the second bottle being opened. The next thing I remember is waking up in the most absolute darkness I had ever experienced. Needless to say, I felt very bad. I lay there for a while wondering why I could not see anything at all. The room we had been drinking in had one wall that was mostly glass, so even if it was the middle of the night, some light from the stars or something would have been visible. I thought that it was possible that I had gone blind, it seemed the only logical explanantion. This, of course, made me feel even worse. I had a very difficult time forming a plan as to what I should do next. Finally I started to move very gingerly, exploring my surroundings. Moving was not pleasant. I immediately ran into objects all around me. It appeared that I had been dumped in a pile of stuff. It took a while to find my way around the room, looking for walls, or anything that felt remotely familiar. Although I did this on my hands and knees, I stumbled and crashed over numerous objects before finding a wall, and eventually a door.

Upon opening the door, I was amazed. I was on the second floor of my friend's house. The reason that this was remarkable, is that the only way here was up a s spiral staircase with no railing. It was difficult to negotiate this staircase when absolutely sober. It was certain that no one carried me up here. I spent quite a while sitting outside the room marvelling at where I was, while down below, I could see the one lone survivor of our drinking contest, still seated at the table.  Our friend from down the road was still there and conscious. Everyone else was gone.

The Sacred Kamado

The year 2000 was an interesting one for me

It was the year I would turn 50. I went around quoting Eubie Blake on his 101st birthday, "If  I'd known I was gonna live this long, I would have taken better care of myself".

The year before, my doctor had finally decided to put me on blood pressure medication. And of course, my weight was steadily climbing. So, in the summer of '99, I got serious about cycling again. I kept a log, started out slowly on the training rollers. By the end of the year I was doing 4 rides per week, at least one of those on the mountain bike up into the mountains above the house.

On January 9 of 2000 I went riding up into a very steep canyon with my wife and son (then 10). The last couple of miles of this ride are extremely steep. When I made the top, without getting off, it was one of those "Rocky" moments. I had been losing weight, my wind was coming back, I felt great. So great, in fact, that when we headed back down I opened her up. No brakes, man I was flying. Looked down at the computer to see my speed, edging up to 45, and looked a little too long. Operator error. When I looked back up I realized that I had misjudged the distance to a slide of large rocks across the trail.  Not too many options. I didn't want to hit the rocks and destroy the bike. I laid hard on the brakes, locked the front wheel, and launched. I disconnected from the bike, flipped partially over in the air and landed on the other side of the rocks. Landed hard on my right shoulder and side of my head. Shattered the helmet (saw stars) and broke my collarbone in three places just above the shoulder joint. Scared the bejeesus out of my wife and son.

So I spent the first 6 weeks of 2000 dealing with orthopedists and physical therapy. I went back to work after 5 weeks feeling pretty good, and wanted to start riding again. The doc told me no riding for at least 18 months. Another fall, he said, would mean surgery.

So I was feeling pretty low when my 50th birthday rolled around in May. My wife said that for the milestone, I should get myself something special. I was avoiding even thinking about bikes at that point, so I really didn't have anything that I could think of. 

Then, one day I was in the backyard, contemplating rebuilding the ancient old CharmGlow gas barbecue. I had already done two rebuilds in the previous 12 years, and I was sick of the thing. So that's what I decided to get, a new barbecue.

Now, in California, cooking outdoors is practical for a couple of reasons. The climate here in the southern part of the state is congenial for grilling for at least 11 months of the year. In the summer, it gets so hot here that cooking on the barbecue helps to keep the house cool. It is not unusual for temperatures to top 110 in the afternoon for as many as six weeks.  Using the oven, or even the stove just makes the house uncomfortable.

I had been q'ing on natural gas for the years we had been in this house. I have a natural gas line piped out to the edge of the patio. Of course, this is grilling not barbecuing. I was hoping to find a unit that would use charcoal as well as gas. No luck. All the Home Depot type stores were strictly gas grills unless you went for a Weber, and I wanted something a bit more substantial than that. But after a month of hunting the hardware and patio stores, I had given up. I even searched the internet, but could not find what I wanted. I finally decided to settle for a gas grill in the $700 to $1000 range. This might sound high, but high end units I looked at were from $3000 to $5000.

One night I tried searching on E-Bay, and came up with the most peculiar looking rig called a Kamado. I went to their web site  and was totally hooked. It was everything I wanted and more. It's made of 1.5 inch thick ceramic. The top is shaped like a dome, so when it gets hot the heat radiating from the walls acts somewhat like a rotisserie. Designed for charcoal, it had an optional gas burner. It can hold low temps down to 200 or even a little less, and when fired up with a full load of coal, I've hit high temps of 800. This makes it excellent for steaks (which we never eat), but also pizzas and bread. You can do authentic Indian tandoori. But the best is the low and slow cooking that is real barbecue.

My favorite is pork shoulder, done over wood charcoal with fist-sized chunks of wood (apple, hickory, mahogany) mixed in, at a temperature of 200 to 225. I start it in the afternoon and it goes all night, generally 15 to 20 hours. I prepare the meat by cutting deep slits and filling them with minced garlic and hot peppers. Slather the outside with cheap yellow mustard and dust with a great rub. When it come off, it is literally falling apart. I wrap it in heavy duty foil and then in an old towel and leave it for up to 3 hours. Then it is removed from the foil, shredded by hand, stripping out the fat. What remains is the most delicious, smoky, spicy meat in the world. It can be used for anything, burritos, tacos, chili, stir fry, or tossed with pasta and olive oil. But the best is to make some great cole slaw and homemade barbecue sauce. Take an onion roll, put on a bunch of pork, ladle on some bbq sauce and top with cole slaw, and finally the top of the roll. Absolutely the best Carolina style pulled pork sandwich on earth.

Another of my favorites is cedar plank cooking. Soak the plank overnight, get the barbecue really hot, place the meat on the plank, season and place the whole assembly on the grill. Works great with salmon, and, I found, with ribs. The meat gets smoky and stays extremely moist.

I use the Kamado for the Thanksgiving turkey also. Great flavor, and the gravy made from the smoky drippings.........well, you just have to eat it to believe it. Whole chickens, and lots of fish have made their way through this beauty. I've smoked albacore and salmon on it, using ceramic stones to deflect the heat. It is without a doubt, the most versatile cooking device I've ever used.

The manufacturer is located in Sacramento, CA. I picked mine up at the factory, no mean feat, as it weighs 400 pounds. It's a great, small company. A bit scattered, customer service is sometimes lacking. But what a product! Each one made by hand, no big production lines here. They make it when you order it. There are numerous styles available now, in different price ranges. With a cart, stainless steel fittings and a gas burner, mine cost $800.

The web site supports a forum  where I learned a lot of the techniques for using it. Great recipes for any kind of grilling, lots of friendly members with advice.

The thing that most surprised me was that I had forgotten how good outdoor cooking was when done over charcoal.  Twelve years of cooking with gas had made me forget. The difference in flavor is fantastic.

If you like barbecuing, and what guy doesn't, you should really check it out.

 

Ga Xao Xa Ot

Well, that's how it's written on the menu of our favorite Vietnamese restaurant. Lemon grass chicken is what we call it. And if you like spicy, you'll like this.

I've been eating at Viet restaurants ever since my wife introduced me to our favorite when we were first dating. She picked up on my love for hot spicy food after eating my cooking a few times. She is of German descent and had fairly mild taste until she lived with me for a while. Now she's *almost* as much of a "chili head" as I am. I grow chilies in the backyard, jalapenos, poblanos, serranos, pequins, cayenne (occasionally), and always habanero.

The restaurant she took me to is called "Nam's Red Door", and if you live in or visit the Los Angeles area you should try it. It's a little hole in the wall in San Pedro, six tables and about 10 stools at the counter. The lady who runs it is named Snow and she's wonderful. We've known her since before we were married, and she's seen our kids go from babies to teens. At the same time, she has had little ones and raised them. We only see her about twice a year, these days. But when we lived at the beach, we ate there a couple of times a week. Whenever we see her, it's like old home week. She marvels at the size of our kids, and we look at pictures of hers. She has another older Vietnamese woman who works the kitchen with her, and between the two of them, they whip up freshly made delicious food.  Great soups (crab and asparagus, yum), curries, and the Viet version of egg rolls (cha giao) that will ruin you for egg rolls forever.

I have been studying the way she makes this dish for years and have attempted it at home many, many times. I've also tried it at other restaurants in my travels and added a little twist here and there to make it exactly to my taste. I now have it down to where my wife and son start to salivate as soon as I say that I'm making it. It's really a rather a simple dish, the main difficulty being the gathering of  proper ingredients.  I'm going to approach this recipe in an unorthodox way, discussing each ingredient, as I specify it's use.  Please keep in mind that I make a very large batch for myself, my wife and my son (at 15, a big eater), because it makes fantastic leftovers and we have never thrown away an ounce of this stuff.

Oil. I don't use a lot, maybe 3 tablespoons. I'm a nut for olive oil, but canola works well also. Olive oil is not ethnically appropriate, of course, but it's good for ya. Now I would probably use peanut oil, but my wife has one of those potentially fatal peanut allergies, so that's a no-no around here. So, make your own choice. Peanut oil allows you to cook in the wok at higher temps.

Chicken. This is an area where you have some personal choices to make. The majority of the Viet places I've eaten at use the most awful, dark meat, gristly, fatty, leftover, nobody-else-but-us-would-ever-consider-eating-this-crap, cuts of chicken I've ever seen. However I have eaten this where the dark meat was carefully chosen and the dish was interesting. I have the feeling that this would be the most common way it would be served in their homeland. At Snow's restaurant, she uses perfect skinless chicken breasts, carefully cleaned and cut into about2 inch strips. This is the way I make it also. I use 5 chicken breasts (remember, this is a big batch, think leftovers).

Onion. Spend the extra buck or so and find 2 nice sweet onions. You guys in the east can find those wonderful Vidalias. Out here, it's a very short time when they are available. I use Maui sweets, Texas sweets, whatever I can find. Again, 2 big ones. Cut them by trimming the root and stem ends and peeling. Then slice them as if you were making apple slices or orange wedges, maybe 8 wedges per onion. We are not going to cook these too much. We don't want mushy, we want some texture.

Scallions. One bunch, fresh, cut into about half inch pieces.

Lemon grass. Oh boy, here is the tough one. DON'T buy it dried. Go to the Asian grocery and get it fresh. A couple of good bunches. Then take it home and peel it down to the heart and chop it very fine.  Here in California recently a company called Gourmet Garden  has been offering unusual spices in a tube in paste form. They have fantastic lemon grass. If you can find it, use a whole tube.

Garlic. I love this stuff. In a dish this size, I use a whole head of garlic, at least. Sometimes more. Peel the cloves and finely chop.

Sambal Oelek. Available here in all the grocery chains. It is just chili paste with garlic. Very red in color. Go easy with this until you get a feel for it. You can always add more at the table. I usually use at least two tablespoons in this size batch.

Fish Sauce. The Thai and Vietnamese answer to soy sauce. Yes, it's made from fish. No, you don't want to know any more about it. Use either the Thai or Viet type. It is sold in all groceries here. Be careful with this stuff, it is very easy to over salt with it. Three or four squirts around the wok will do. It has a very unique flavor and really makes the taste in this dish.

Peppers. Completely optional. Snow doesn't use them. I take serranos, seed them, and slice thin slivers lengthwise.  You could use milder peppers like pasilla, poblano, even red bell peppers would be nice. Just make the slivers very thin.

Get the wok very hot. Add the oil, and when it is hot, add the chicken and the Sambal. You are looking for a nice reddish color. Get the chicken about 90% cooked and then add the onions. Needless to say, you are stirring constantly. As the onions just start to soften a little add the fish sauce and the lemon grass.  Stir that in then add the garlic and peppers if you are using them. Let these cook a couple of minutes. The chicken should be done now, if not, cook until it is. As you get better at this, you will get the timing down to where the chicken is done while the onions still have a little crunch. Finally, turn off the heat and add the scallions. Keep stirring as it cools a bit.

You made some rice to go with this, right?  Place a mound of rice and spoon the chicken dish over the top. We use brown rice, but white is good too.

Sorry this was so long. I suppose I could have done it more simply. I just have a thing about ingredients.

Hope you like it.